I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize