I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
