Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
how does that bad decision feel?
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