It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
