I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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