im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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