Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
