she looked like the before picture.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
