I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
