I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
the day after is always just damage control
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
