honey bunches of taint.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
