Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize