You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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