Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
