How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Where is the hickey?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
