I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
