I swear she didn't look like that last week.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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