i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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