Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
