everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Randomize
