i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
