My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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