There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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