FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
