He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
