How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize