were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
