my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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