Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
So squirting runs in the family.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
