Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
