you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize