You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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