he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
