you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize