I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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