Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
