Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
