Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
