It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
