chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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