Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
