My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
