Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
