why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
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