Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Who died my cat blue again?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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