then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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