Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
