Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
