You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
