You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
