I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
