Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
cat food counts as protein by the way
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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