The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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