New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
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