I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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