i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
