nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize