Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
