just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
