i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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