Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
