Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
