is your mom at the bar?
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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